hashimoto kazuo // pain

written by A. E. Stover
this version is not edited


Killed once already,
A child with forgotten dreams; his
Zeal twice abandoned for the
Undertaking the responsibilities
Of carrying the sword.







“Kishire — Panterra!”

Ah. So he is alive in there. It’s been a while since Grimmjow released. I was beginning to think he actually died or something in there. How long has it been again?

…Two years, you say? Only two years? Are you sure? To me, it felt more like five. But if you say its been two years, it must be. Okay, then. Two years.

Two years since — Wait, I didn’t say go! You didn’t give me a chance to make my move!

…I know that’s not how battles are fought, but come on… This is just a spar, isn’t it? Can’t you tell Grimm to go easy on me or something? I’m not even the one this whole teamwork thing is for, anyway…

Ah! Wait, a — That’s not fair! Grimm’s got complete hold of her! Isn’t that supposed to be illegal? Oh, wait —  I think —  I think she’s breaking through. She’s fighting back, and now she’s…! Awesome, she’s back in the fight!

Ahaha… She’s mad.

Hey… She’s pretty sharp to be able to pick out and separate her soul from Grimm’s, don’t you think? Grimm’s pretty stubborn, so it makes for a stronger bond, you know? Actually, I don’t think she’s ever had a problem discerning her soul from Grimm’s. She’s kinda sensitive to his presence. I’m thinking it’s a girl thing, cause I think the rest of us have always had trouble with that.

Well, yeah, okay. Maybe it’s just different for everybody; we’ve all had our own struggles to overcome. I guess her’s would be strengthening her bond with Grimm. And mine was… Well, it’s more of an “is” because I’m still having trouble with it, I think.

Yeah, you take care of it for the most part, and I’m glad. But it’s still something I should work on. I mean, it’s not great that it takes such a long time for me to recognize the energy patterns of my own soul. It’s great for battle, because we’re completely in sync with each other, but…

In the real world, it’s a handicap. I’m so aware of you that I forget that you’re not always physically with me. It’s amazing to experience such a close connection to another being, but after some time the body is conditioned into overlooking that the connection exists purely on the basis of mental awareness.

…Hm? No, I’m not saying anything bad about you, or this connection we’re bound by, rather. I told you; it’s not a bad thing. I’m just saying that it can get a little weird for people who don’t know anything about this. You know… Like how I have that tendency to talk to you out loud even when you aren’t physically there? Kinda makes me look schizophrenic.

I think my sister even told my parents that I’m sick in the head. They all want to admit me to a clinic. Isn’t that funny? Hahaha… Ha.

Why am I laughing? That’s not funny at all…

I’ve lost a lot of friends doing this, you know? I’ve lost my family too. I want them back, so badly. I miss them everyday. You know I once had a girlfriend, right? Her name was Sana. She had this cute laugh, and she was the only girl who could beat me in FPS games. And she had these gorgeous eyes, too. And she was so kind…

Well, I thought she was kind. I didn’t expect her to dump me for that Fujisaki guy. He’s kind of a loser. I don’t see what’s so great about him, really… I bet I could knock him down in five seconds. Of course, I can’t do that now; she really likes him.

Ugh, this is so depressing…! Stop, stop, stop! I can’t think about that. All that’s in the past. That’s not me anymore. Now, I’m… awesome. I’m… cool. My life is… is…

Oh, look. Looks like Grimmjow and Seika have reached a consensus. How long do you think they’ll last before they end up trying to overpower each other?

…Two minutes? Hm, I’d give them more credit than that. Maybe five?

…I don’t know why I always pick five. I like that number. It’s my lucky number.

Ah. Here they come.

You ready?

I’m ready.


“Tozase — Murciélago!”





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