written by A. E. Stover
this version is not edited

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Kind only in his own way,
A boy of seventeen
Torn apart from his brother at
Six to stave away
Unwanted influences, he
Yearns for the change to
Abandon his home and flee.

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Yeah, so…

…I’m really, really bored right now. Like, this could be a legit form of torture.

You’d think watching two sword wielding-type spirits or whatcha-ma-call-its in action would be fun to watch, but in actuality… It’s not. Especially if it’s for “teamwork building” purposes. Then the action’s all fake and whatever… Even more so here, since Ulquiorra’s partner has the hots for that chick he’s fighting against.

Oh my God, this is so boring. You have no idea. It’s worse than the times my mom used to drag me to the salon to get her nails done. You know how much that place stinks? It’s all, like, chemicals and shit, and all that nasty stuff’s gotta be doing some crazy shit to your lungs if your freaking nails turn yellow if you don’t chill the fuck out with painting your nails with all that crap, seriously. That’s probably why I’m messed up in the head now, mom. It’s got nothing to do with my brother — He’s the greatest guy around! It’s that stupid salon you used to take me to, okay? Geez…

I’m supposed to be up next, but with the way things are going I’m never gonna get to do anything. And even if I do get up there, I don’t think there’s much to do since I’m supposed to train against her. That chick’s super weak; probably the weakest of the bunch here. Dunno why Crazy Blue chose her of all the people in the world. He’s got bad taste in girls, if you ask me. Queen Clutz over there keeps dropping her sword and shit. If that thing comes flying over here, I swear, I’mma grab that shit and go wild on her ass, because the last time I was near that sword, I was in the hospital for a week.

You know what’s worse? My holy saint of a partner didn’t do shit when Crazy Blue cut me down. “It builds character,” she said. “It builds up trust,” she said. Yeah right; that insufferable know-it-all just gets her kicks watching me be wrong all the time.

And, yeah, I guess I shouldn’t have been trying to grab all the glory on our hunt last time, but she was dragging me down and those fuckers are fast! It was better to ditch her somewhere and keep her from moving around too much, you know? I didn’t know Crazy Blue’d be so… Well, crazy. I didn’t think he’d really care.

But I guess he did, ’cause he was pretty pissed to find out I’d tossed her on a roof somewhere and took her sword for myself. I didn’t know she’d attract Feeders either; I thought she didn’t have anything worth sucking out, you know? When Ulquiorra first introduced them, I didn’t even know she was there until she said something. She’s got really low levels of spiritual energy, almost non-existent. Crazy Blue was practically blazing compared to her; not as much as Ulquiorra or ol’ Patchy, but his energy — you felt it; it was there, loud and obnoxious. So really, when I left her there I didn’t think it’d be a big deal (especially since the Angel over here didn’t say anything about it when I did).

Ah… Well, you know what they say. You learn from your mistakes. And trust me, I sure as hell learned mine.

Next time, ditch the sword and the girl.

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